If you ever experienced, whether as witness or as subject to, disrespect or incivility in the workplace, this article is for you.
Whether the behavior of disrespect be a result of the desire to exert power, unresolved childhood issues or low caliber, outdated leadership, it does nothing good for the employees. Shouting, belittling and the use of unprofessional words in the workplace is more pervasive than you think.
Effects of Disrespect in the Workplace
Impact on Career
You cannot be at your natural best when faced with this situation, whether you are the subject of disrespect or it happens around you with you as an observer. Stress, fear of speaking up, hindered decision making and low self-esteem are natural consequences.
None of these will help you in advancing in your game.
Misguided Leadership
Disrespectful or incivil bosses and individuals have their own allies and favorites, too.
Suppose you are one of them so your career took off even in this environment. But, what kind of modelling, mentoring and guidance did you get? That it is ok to shout at and shame people in front of their peers and direct reports?
If this resonates with you, better find yourself a mentor or a coach outside of this environment.
Impact on Health
From personal experience, mine and your own, we know that stressful situations have huge impact on health.
There have also been several studies around the topic, such as the one below.
Multiple studies have shown that these sudden emotional stresses — especially anger — can trigger heart attacks, arrhythmias and even sudden death.1 Although this happens mostly in people who already have heart disease, some people don’t know they have a problem until acute stress causes a heart attack or something worse.
How Stress Affects Your Health by the American Psychological Association
Impact on other Areas of Life
When I was still in a very incivil workplace, I was also short fused at home with my daughter and also highly emotional and easily triggered to cry in conversations (sometimes confrontations) with my husband. They did not and do not deserve this version of me. Initially, I thought it was hormonal and age related, but it really wasn’t.
The day I left, my heartburn and palpitation were gone. I’m also more patient and more loving now at home.
I didn’t know these were directly related to workplace experiences and to think, I was just an observer.
Take Action
Unfortunately, victims of disrespect or incivility in the workplace often don’t realize they are victims or are too afraid to do anything. To an extent, they behave like a battered wife – knows it hurts and is wrong but does not have enough will, energy nor courage to break the cycle; or develops a self-blaming attitude over what happens.
So, if you are currently facing this situation, here are my suggestions.
Request for Feedback
Many people faced with this situation blame themselves even when disrespecct in any situation is wrong. To clear things up, it is best to request for a 1-1 and ask for feedback on things that you can still improve to make the situation better. Then, work hard to develop in these areas.
Give Feedback
Sometimes, the person/boss is blind to the effects of his/her actions. So here, let’s assume good intent and let him/her know how his/her actions, words and manner of speaking made you feel and what thoughts you had around it.
Depending on your role in the organization, you can speak on behalf of the group (with confidential data to back you up) or call forth the values of the organization.
Report to HR, Ethics Hotline or A Higher Level, More Mature Leader
If these did not work, there are people in authority who are concerned about employee welfare. Let them know and let them take the necessary actions.
Leave
Now, if you’ve done all these and things still hasn’t changed, what are you still doing there? Leave! There are many other workplaces for you – warm, friendly, inclusive, high performing ones. Don’t lock yourself up in the dungeon when you can be out in the garden on a beautiful summer day!
Finally, let me close with this video…
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Thank you and hoping for all the best in your life! God bless!
That is true Katherine, although I
believe there is some baseline respect we give to everybody just because they are human beings like us. The same respect that we give to strangers that we pass on the street. I’m happy to be back Katherine, how have you been?
Likewise Emile and hope to catch up on here. Take care ❤️
Great things take time to make, as they say. 🙂 Lovely to be interacting with you again.
Lovely to hear from you Emile and glad you and yours are well. All is well here so far.
I am still gathering more material for my memoir and my blog and those of others have helped in the process. I still have Yabut’s print off in my memoir materials.
Take care and watch this space for my memoir, not just yet!
Margaret, how are you? Yes, it’s great! I am good, I hope you are keeping well and looks like publishing your memoir very soon!
Seems like a long time Emile,
Hope you and yours are well in these difficult times.
I have recently been reviewing my return to health visiting practice journal following a sizeable amount of sick leave due to a dress related illness.
I printed off Your post of August 2019 ‘The 7 signs you’re working for a toxic company.’ Jonathan Yabut.
Now that I am taking up the work section of my draft memoir I plan to incorporate some of Yabut’s ideas.
Thank you & God bless 🙂🙏❤️
Thank you, Kelly!
Very nice! Take care and thank you for following.
Hello, dear Emile!
Well, to be frank you must earn respect in a company, even I have been in this situation at the beginning.
You must have patience and earn the respect that you deserve.
Have a great day, Dear Emile! 😊❤
Thank you! And thanks for dropping by!
Agree.best to leave if workplace stays as is.